Posted on Facebook on Saturday, January 15, 2011 at 1:08am
Day 5 of the Surette Survival of the Southern Snowpocalypse is coming to a close, and we are finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel...rather, the street at the bottom of the ice. Mommy is still uneasy about driving, as our one and only exit/entrance still has a great deal of ice. While others have made it in and out, given my track record, I feel a bit like a wreck-magnet driving in conditions like this. I'm already pretty certain I have a bulls-eye on my bumper. Let's not tempt fate any further...
That said, GET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!! Do you realize that for five days, the entire family was home, then for three days it will be Mommy and the girls, then one day of everyone, then one day of Mommy and the girls? What does that mean? Heh heh...look, is that a cute fluffy unicorn bouncing towards me? Oh, it's giving me a hug! What a pretty white jacket they make me wear...those walls are nicely padded, and look how easy they are to clean! Do they make couches out of that stuff???
So I decided to take the girls for a walk today. C has been so good, but this enforced imprisonment has been wearing on her, too. Today the snow was turning to slush, and sledding was not a possibility. Mommy suggested the concept of building with snow, but this was greeted with the sardonic, "I'm five going on fifteen" look that I thought only came from teenagers. How offensive! Snow is for sledding! Apparently only losers build stuff with it...just saying...there goes the entire Inuit culture...
So I look outside, see snow, and think, "It's still freezing." But the sidewalks are largely clear, so I decide to go for it! Mommy begins by changing diapers and asking C to put on her coat, mittens, hat, scarf, and boots...which turns into Mommy informing her eldest in no uncertain terms that her very survival depends on these items being put on with great alacrity. Meanwhile, babies diapered, Mommy begins the time-consuming process of dressing each child. B is pretty easy, and puts on her snow suit happily, seeing that her Monkey backpack has been removed from the hook. In fact, she's fairly giddy as we're dressing, and even is willing to put her hands out for the fun and exciting gloves Mommy wants her to wear. A, on the other hand, is NOT AMUSED. First a jacket, then boots, then...HOW DARE SHE COVER MY HANDS!!! You can put that back pack on, but A will NEVER forget this slight! GLOVES?!? An OUTRAGE! By this time Mommy is breaking land-speed records dashing for her boots, yelling at C PUT THOSE BOOTS AND GLOVES ON NOW OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!!
I rush back in the room, mentally congratulating myself on taking no more than 4.5 seconds to put on my hiking boots...to discover it was 3 seconds too many. B has ripped off the gloves (and is ironically crying because she cannot get them back on). A is crying because she cannot get the gloves OFF! C has decided to take her coat off, because it's too hot to wait for Mommy...with some not-so-stifled oaths, all children are appropriately outfitted, and we head out the door...to discover B is missing a boot. Seriously? Where the heck is this thing?!? Ok, all dressed and ready to...oh, uh, coat for Mommy, yeah, very useful...
The first hurdle is the front step. The babies are looking up at the water dripping from some menacing looking icicle hanging over their heads...and promptly slide on the ice, fall of the front step, and land face first into the slush that passes for snow on the front lawn. Ah yes, and auspicious start. Mommy ruthlessly yanks them up by their leashes, because by GOD we are getting OUT OF THIS HOUSE! Fortunately pacifiers, hugs, and C falling on her rump bring smiles once more, and we're off! Down the sidewalk we go! And four houses down, we find ourselves forced to turn back thanks to the neighbor who shoveled off his driveway into a big pile...onto the sidewalk...I believe that is what is known as an Epic fail...
We go back up the hill, pass our house ("Mommy, turn here...no, HERE...no wait...Mommy!!!") and go up a few more houses until we reach an ice slick that puts me in mind of those icebergs you see Polar bears lounging about on the Discovery channel. Back into the house we go. Not to bad, until B lands face-first on the driveway. No ice, no snow, just toddler lack of balance. This caps the adventure, and into the house we go. While Mommy struggles to peel off the baby layers, C bounces around like a demented flea, demanding to know what she can do next. Fortunately I am equipped for such situations. As a teacher, I have many "looks." I give her the, "Oh, I'll find something for you to do" look, and she disappears into her room to play with her dolls.
The babies napped, C discovered that with all the toys she owns, at least one is worth her time, and Mommy worked out on the Wii. Was it worth it? The Jury is still out at this time...
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