Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Animal? Mineral? FRUIT??

I like to think we have a pretty good sense of humor in my family.  We like to laugh, to give each other a hard time, and to joke around.  Oh, indeed we can take ourselves a bit seriously at times, but overall, we take a joke pretty well.  My husband and I enjoy teasing our daughters.  My eldest, C, gives as good as she gets.  She's in that phase where she can take a joke a bit far, but she has an excellent sense of humor.  Twin B is starting to get into the spirit of joking around, and is realizing that mommy is not as literal as she thought.

Twin A, on the other hand...she is an awesome kid.  But she is definitely my mini-me.  Such a straight line child!  She makes jokes, but she does NOT take them well, and she is convinced that 90% of my jokes are literal.  And me, being a product of my family (I blame my grandfathers...both of them!)...well...I have to say I really enjoy teasing her.

Our latest family joke centers around the question, "What's to eat?"  My girls are forever asking, "Mommy, what's for (breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/second breakfast/noonsies...)?"  I swear I have small-footed Hobbits around here!  So my response has become, "Hmmm...let's eat [insert name of family member here.]"  C and Twin B will laugh, saying, "No!  That's crazy!"  Or better yet, Twin B will usually decide which section of her sisters we should eat first.  "Start with the shoulder.  It's yummy!"  If I say we will eat Twin B, she will laugh and say, "OK, but only one bite," or, "No, I haven't showered and I'm yucky!"  Twin A, on the other hand, will FLIP OUT!  "NOOO!" she'll howl, "YOU CAN'T EAT _______!  THAT'S MEAN, MOMMY!!!"  I try to gently point out, "Do you think Mommy is serious?"  Even then, she'll become very upset with me.  "It's not a funny joke!" she'll insist. 

Today, of course, I was teasing my child.  Here is what happened:

Twin A: Mommy, what's for lunch?
Me: Well...hmm...let's have...(casting about for least offensive choice)...the cat!  Let's eat Bart!
Twin A (shocked and offended): MOMMY!  NO!  You can't eat the cat!!
Me (amused): Well, why not?
Twin A (indignant): Because he's stinky!
The cat jerks his head up and gives Twin A an offended look!  Stinky?  Why, he never!  He'll show her stinky, he thinks, as he proceeds to groom his nether regions...
Me: Stinky, huh?
Twin A: Mommy!  He's furry!  Hair tastes bad! 
The cat pauses, narrowing his eyes, tongue sticking out...leave a hairball on my bed, cat, and see if I don't make good on that last statement...
Me: Really?
Twin A (exasperated): He's a CAT, not a MANGO!!

And there you go.  Cleared that one up for you, didn't we? 

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