Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Medicine comes in all forms

We went to Publix today to get medication for one of my daughters.  Twin A really seems to have this thing for chest colds.  Takes after her mommy, I guess.  So I'm waiting to drop off my prescription, and I see this lady pull away from the pharmacy counter with baby in her cart.  She looks familiar.  I turn back to the tech at the window, but my brain is still trying to place this woman.  Then it hits me...

Last year about this time (because the twins have a thing for getting colds for Christmas) I was at this very same pharmacy picking up...probably the EXACT same medications, knowing twin A...I had all three girls with me.  I go to pick up said medications, but the pharmacy is very busy, so we have to stand in line.  The lady behind me is pregnant and glowing...probably having one of those pregnancies where she never got sick...I've read of those, never experienced it.  She's humming and rubbing her belly until she notices my children.  She starts out with the usual, "Twins?"  We go through the normal exchange, including that our twins are spontaneous and not IVF, and then she says, "Three girls, huh?  Are you going to try for a boy?"

Our standard response to this question is, "The first time we had one, the second time we had two...we DON'T WANT to know what happens the third time!"  Most people laugh and back off.  But my pregnant friend is clearly basking in the glow of creation, and feels it's her duty to propagate this joyous experience to the world.  "Oh, come on!" she says, "Wouldn't triplets be fun?"  Yeah, so's an unnecessary root canal...not saying triplets couldn't be fun (don't beat me, multiple mommy friends), but I already have the three, and my sanity hangs by tatters as is..."I just love being pregnant," she gushes.  "I think having multiples would just be even MORE fun!" 

I don't want to burst here, but before I can respond, the gentleman standing behind her says, "You know, she's right - once you have multiples spontaneously, your chances for having multiples again goes up dramatically, especially if you are 35 or older."  Sadly, I was only 34 at the time, but it's probably hard to tell the difference between 34 and 35 when someone looks very tired, so I can forgive him..."I say always quit when you are ahead!" he finishes. 

Pregnant woman pauses for a moment, studying me.  Get ready, folks..."Yeah, I guess if you are in your 40s..."  Ummmm, excuse me, sweetie?  He said 35, thank you very much.  Ooooh, it's a good thing you are pregnant and therefore not in your right mind..."But still," she continues, enthusiasm returning, "I have a friend who had twins the first time, but she had one kid the second time."  Yes, note the number of children there...2 plus 1...I'll wait...

The Gentleman chuckles, then says, "Trust me, it can happen."

Our little Pregnant friend: "Yeah, whatever.  You should definitely try again.  Seriously!!  You should just go for it!!"  What, here?  Now?  Should I just grab some random guy?  Can I at least go home and get my DH first?  Sorry, honey, peer pressure...

The Gentleman snorts, and says, "Oh, OK, well since you're the expert, she should just listen to you."  I would not say such things if I were you...

SFX: *Click*  And that was the sound of the switch that turns sweet little pregnant women into the raging hormonal beast...  Rounding on him, she explodes, "What the hell would you know, huh?  You're so smart!"  She continues chewing him out for a moment, then, rage subsiding, spits out,  "He's an idiot.  What the hell would he know?" 

Gentleman is taken aback, but recovers and smiles. ain't over, folks...He pulls out his wallet and says, "Here's a picture of my first grandchild."  Flipping the wallet pics slowly, he says, "Oh, and here's a picture of my second and third grandchildren, the twins."  He looks in this woman's face and smiles VERY broadly, then says, "And here is a picture of my FOURTH and FIFTH grandchildren, the other set of twins."  Then he looks over at me and says, "Both sets are identicals."  What was that whooshing sound?  I believe that was the sound of my tubes tying themselves...

The Pregnant lady looks at the kids, then says, "Yeah, but how many kids do you have?" 
Gentleman: "One." 
Pregnant lady: "...Oh..."

Nonplussed, Pregnant lady pauses and considers her argument, then turns back to me.  She snorts derisively, then says with considerably less confidence, "Well, so what.  Don't let one moron ruin your decision."  Thank you so much for your permission.  I wasn't sure what to do, but now that I know I'm ALLOWED...The Pharmacist called her first - I think she wanted to just get her out of there. 

Flashback to the present.  The lady looked tired and considerably less chipper.  A sick child (or just being sick) will do that to you.  I said a quick mental prayer for her - hopefully she's doing well and so is her child. Sometimes babies really fight you when it comes to taking medication.  Just remember "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down!"

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