Friday, November 18, 2011

Guys may be guys, but BOYS can be idiots!

I have to get this off my chest because I was SO ANNOYED this morning!!  I want to start by saying that when I'm talking about boys here, I'm not talking about the entire male gender.  Nor am I talking about males who are toddlers, pre-adolescents, college age, etc.  I'm talking about that subset and middle-aged males who REALLY shouldn't be know whom I mean.  Those guys who are 47, living at home, and whining because Mom won't let them put a FOURTH X-box in the living room....Definitely not smart enough to appreciate just how little responsibility they have, and how lucky they are that someone ELSE wipes their noses!

This morning C was participating in a Thanksgiving play written by and starring the kids in her enrichment group.  They made their own costumes and props and did all their own research.  I am so impressed with her first grade teacher!  It was just a 3 minute play, but there was a lot of good knowledge in there!  Her teacher has created a very student-centered, technology rich classroom, and I must say she's very inspiring to me!!  The kids love her, too. 

C also wrote an original joke that she was to read on their school news program, so I had to get her in early to be on time.  (Her joke: How does a turkey get into his house?  By using the "key" in his name - Tur-KEY!)  So I dropped her off and decided to head to Starbucks to relax in the intervening 30 minutes.  Can I tell you the last time I've done anything like this?  DH stayed home to sleep in and watch the twins until I returned, so I knew I could have some time to relax.  I take my gift card and buy one of those protein meals (which are really good) and a skinny coffee, and sit down in a comfy chair to relax.  It's about 7:25, so I have 15 minutes. 

To the left of me are a group of four middle-aged "boys" (see above definition).  At first they are talking about God, and how He called families to have at least one parent at home with the kids, because the women who work are destroying America.  Yeah, 'cause there are no families out there with two working parents just to make ends meet.  Of course women work just 'cause they are trying to destroy American society!  Then one guy says, "I mean, I made a CHOICE to stay home with the nanny because I wanted my kids to have ONE parent at home.  I wanted my wife to do it,  but since she's an ATTORNEY she refused." 

...Uh...ummm...I'm sorry?  Did you say NANNY?  You stay at home with the NANNY?!?!?  Because your wife is an ATTORNEY and can afford to have you stay at home AND have a NANNY?!?  What the?????  I want a nanny!!  Can I stay at home with a nanny?  How the heck is that parenting?  And more importantly, how do you think that your wife got that high powered job?  Clearly women's lib is totally destroying this poor man's life! 

The conversation continues in this vein about how these men chose to stay at home with their nannies because this is God's mandate (which book of the Bible, exactly?).  Then one guy sniffs, looks around at the rest of the patrons (some men, some women), and says, "Perhaps if they'd stop buying these fancy lattes they would have the money to stay home."  Dude, you nailed it.  It's clearly the love of fancy lattes that is driving women's lib and destroying this country's morals.  Now, you just go back to your pastry (which is SO manly) and venti coffee drink (oh, wipe the whipped cream off your nose, sweetie), and please tell us what else is ailing this world...

These pasty, pudgy, combed-over middle-aged boys...what do you think they do all day?  Obviously they are home for their kids (oh, except for now, when they are at Starbucks piously invoking the Lord's name while bashing women and whining about how they are only allowed ONE Maserati...).  My DH thinks I'm being unfair.  Every man deserves a chance to sit around all day and watch all of those classic football games he's heard about but ever seen!  Not to mention, do you have any idea how difficult it is to work AND watch soap operas?  He does agree men should get behind women having very high powered, fancy jobs.  He's even offering to stay at home while I become a VP...he said he'll handle the nanny applications...I don't know...perhaps I'm wrong to judge. 

At this point my time is up and I have to pop back over to the school to watch C's play.  As I get up to go, one guy says, "Oh, hey, I have to be home by 9:00 today."  Another guy goes, "Yeah, I have to leave early, too."  So let me get this straight, you sit here for 90 minutes in the morning?  You poor things!!  I left these tragic, troubled souls munching sadly on their pastries as I headed out to spend 10 minutes fighting traffic to go less than a mile.  Oh, the humanity! 

On another note, I'd like to take a moment to say how lucky I am to have so amazing a husband!  He takes responsibility for himself and his family, he gives me time off to see my daughter's play, and he is a REAL MAN! 

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