Albuterol really amps up the twins! Their new favorite activity right after taking it is to run laps around the island in the kitchen, reciting their favorite scenes from Curious George or having conversations. Usually Twin B is the narrator & human, and Twin A is Hundley (the dog) or George (a monkey). Should it worry me that she's so good at imitating animals? I choose to believe that they retain this information due to their astounding memories, and NOT due to the fact that they get 30 minutes of TV a day...
Sometimes, as they are trotting in circles, they prefer to have conversations. Here is one such example:
Twin A: "God loves me."
Twin B: "God loves me, too."
A: "NO!! God loves ME, not you!"
B: "God loves ME!! ME!! ME!!"
A:...."God loves me AND you???"
B: "Yes!"
A: "God loves us...but he doesn't make us breakfast."
B (sadly): "Yeah..." (Brightens up) "Mommy loves us!"
I'm a SAHM of three girls...for now. My first daughter is my Journalist: 9 going on 30. The twins are 4, off to PreK, and pushing every limit they can. Some moms are totally cut out for the stay at home life. Me? It varies on any given day. Staying sane is of primary importance, and this is one of my attempts at doing so! Please note: I only use my daughters’ initials in posts – who knows how long this stuff will be on the internet? Thank you for respecting my decision!!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Beware of threes...especially in twos...
We had such a crazy week! It was the kind of week that makes you wonder what you did in a past life to get that kind of Karma! It started on the weekend when we stifled without A/C. After some checking, we realized our thermostat needed to be replaced. Easily enough accomplished, and we're back to cool air and smooth sailing...until Monday, when our A/C cut out AGAIN. Of course the A/C people were due to come out WEDNESDAY, but we couldn't wait that long. Fortunately it was a switch, and we're off and running!
Tuesday I'm sitting in the house debating my dinner options when I hear this strange static-like noise. I walk into the kitchen, trying to figure out what's wrong with the baby monitor, when I hear the noise plus a soft pop. Turning my attention to the refrigerator, I see...smoke? What an awful smell? Seriously? Is that smoke? My eyes water as I watch the smoke billow out from the fridge, and I panic. That type of panic that seizes your guts and roots you to the floor. Fire? Am I about to lose my house? Can I get my kids out fast enough? Do I need to call the fire department? WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!?!?!? This clearly does NOT fall under the realm of "mom stuff." Fire is "Dad stuff!"
This lasted all of 3 seconds, and then I hear a voice in my head yell, "Turn off the breaker! MOVE!!" I yank open that breaker box and flip EVERY switch that looks like it could have anything to do with the kitchen. Microwave...dishwasher...kitchen general...oven...does that say kitchen? Don't know...flipping it anyway. I go back inside to find that I'm lucky enough to have forestalled a fire! WHOOHOO! So I call my husband and shriek into the phone, "WHERE ARE YOU?!? I JUSTFLIPPEDTHEBREAKERSAND(sniffle sob shudder)YEAAAHMMWNOWPHOIHLJBKEWR..." Fortunately he's smart enough to realize that this translates into, "Get home now, she's lost all sense of coherency."
A new fridge later, it's Wednesday, and it's time for fridge delivery...or it would be, if the Lowe's employee who sold us the fridge (which we specifically bought because it was IN STOCK) knew how to put an order in the system...We call the store, but the associate says, "I can't help you, call the delivery company," then hangs up before we can respond. We find our paperwork and call the delivery company, who says, "We don't have a record of this delivery. We're really sorry. Here's the manager's name and direct line, call him and see if he can help. We'll check on our end." We call the manager and are told, "It was mistakenly entered as a special delivery and will be in next week." Next week? I don't think I can pack my fridge full of ice for over a week and hope I'll be able to keep ANYTHING cold...So the manager wearily informs us that as soon as he hangs up he will make sure the order is changed so it can be delivered THURSDAY, and there's just nothing else he can do to help us. Yeah, wouldn't want to offer a coupon, a minor discount, a small gift card...We get a call two hours later saying delivery will be Thursday, but the guy who calls us is livid because when he got the new list for Thursday, we weren't on it. He had to call Lowe's and chew out the manager who screwed up our order AGAIN. Thanks to the delivery company we got a fridge on Thursday. Thanks to Lowe's we won't be shopping there again for a new appliance!
Wednesday night comes, and I can rest easily...or not, as Twin A decides it's time to come down with one whale of a chest cold! We spend the night in the family room, and it takes three rounds of albuterol for her to finally breath well enough for her to be able to sleep. So Thursday it's off to the pediatrician for orapred, albuterol, and antibiotics for both girls. Twin B, it turns out, was keeping her double ear infections a secret...We get home...Oww, my sinuses...You always want your children to share...just not their germs...Sleep is elusive when you are blowing your nose every 2 minutes...
Friday, and FINALLY we're going to have a bit of a break. DH heads out of town to attend the Nascar race at Bristol with his family, and it's girls night! We enjoy our pasta and movie, and everyone heads to bed...what the HECK is that wail? I head into C's room...and light out of there for the kitchen like I'm being chased by wolves. I grab a pan and break landspeed records running into C's room, just in time to get that pot under her...and it's a stomach virus! JACKPOT! Back to the family room for another all-nighter! My third in a row. See the power of three at work here? It's like the TV show Charmed, but without the strange fashions and "magic."
On Saturday I was supposed to attend an all day training class that I'd been REALLY looking forward to for weeks. Nope...I'm in the family room watching various cartoons all day, dealing with three sick little girls, and wishing my head had a flip top so I could remove my sinuses. Wouldn't it be great if you could get disposable sinuses? When they get sick you just pop open your head, toss the infected ones, and put in a fresh, clean pair. Let's get on that evolution thing there, God, 'K?
After I posted on FB about my fridge a friend of mine innocently reminded me of the rule of 3 - you know, bad things happening in 3s. Personally I think we're covered for a couple of years, because we've had all the bad things we needed...in ONE week! I'm declaring a moratorium on bad things around here!!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
If it's good for the goose...
We are all sick of the CFA thing with Dan Cathey, right? You are probably thinking, "Seriously? NOW she wants to talk about it? I'm done reading..." Well bear with me. This isn't about his comments. It's about something SURROUNDING his comments.
Dan Cathey made the decision to comment about gay marriage. YES, it was his right. NO, I'm not arguing it. Other people reacted and made comments about his comments. YES, it was THEIR right. NO, I'm not arguing about them, either. And what was the big backlash? "You must be TOLERANT. You must ALLOW this person to have his opinion. You are un-American if you don't! Freedom of Speech! First Amendment!!" Some people even went so far as to say you couldn't react to his words or choose not to eat at CFA. Not many - most people were willing to agree that if you didn't like his words it was your right, provided you accepted his right to say the comment.
Here's the thing: Yes, we have freedom of speech and the right to say what we think. That's what makes this country great. I love it. But we forget rights come with responsibilities. Say what you think, but accept the consequences of your actions. People seem shocked that words and actions have consequences (that's a rant for another day...). Some are foreseeable. Some are shocking. Some are fair, others not.
Now, why am I bringing this up? Well, in the past few days I've noticed something about the so-called "Tolerance" people. On several occasions I've seen these same people attacking others viciously for their opinions. Saying, "How dare she say that to ME?!?" Or, "Why is that person being so mean to ME?," simply because another person on email or on facebook disagreed with them.
People, a disagreement is NOT a lack of tolerance. If I say, "Here's my opinion," and someone says, "I disagree," that's life. That's the essence of freedom of speech. If the person goes on to say, "You stupid moron, you must agree with me," that's not freedom of speech. That's hurtful and rude. But if someone doesn't agree with your opinion, they are NOT being intolerant. They are simply exercising the right which so many people shrieked we must give Dan Cathey.
So why is that when a public figure makes a statement that could be controversial, we're not being tolerant if we disagree? However, if someone in our life says, "I think otherwise," we start facebook campaigns against this person and attack him/her? One of my friends said, "Let's return to civilized discourse," and I agree. But not just in the political/religious arena. PERIOD. If you have a deeply held belief, and someone disagrees, recognize that they are practicing their 1st Amendment rights, just as you are. Note: I'm talking about civil disagreement. Not rude, nasty, ugliness in disagreeing.
Does that mean there's no room for debate? Of course not! Civil response and debate are a cornerstone of our society. Does it mean there aren't times to campaign against someone's words? Of course not! Some things people say are just plain ignorant, unfair, rude, and may even infringe on the rights of others. Does it mean you can't complain to your friends or ask for support? Isn't that what friends are for? I'm just saying that you might want to consider what is truly worth your time. You may be surprised once you take a deep breath how trivial some matters become. And most importantly, you may want to ask yourself, "Is this person really deserving of my wrath, or should is this a situation in which freedom of speech dictates that I have to give him/her a say, even if I disagree?" Who knows - you may learn something in your search of the internet to prove him/her wrong! I know I have on many occasions!
So now my logical side has had it's say! My emotional side is snickering...and wondering how well I'll remember this when someone really pisses me off...
Dan Cathey made the decision to comment about gay marriage. YES, it was his right. NO, I'm not arguing it. Other people reacted and made comments about his comments. YES, it was THEIR right. NO, I'm not arguing about them, either. And what was the big backlash? "You must be TOLERANT. You must ALLOW this person to have his opinion. You are un-American if you don't! Freedom of Speech! First Amendment!!" Some people even went so far as to say you couldn't react to his words or choose not to eat at CFA. Not many - most people were willing to agree that if you didn't like his words it was your right, provided you accepted his right to say the comment.
Here's the thing: Yes, we have freedom of speech and the right to say what we think. That's what makes this country great. I love it. But we forget rights come with responsibilities. Say what you think, but accept the consequences of your actions. People seem shocked that words and actions have consequences (that's a rant for another day...). Some are foreseeable. Some are shocking. Some are fair, others not.
Now, why am I bringing this up? Well, in the past few days I've noticed something about the so-called "Tolerance" people. On several occasions I've seen these same people attacking others viciously for their opinions. Saying, "How dare she say that to ME?!?" Or, "Why is that person being so mean to ME?," simply because another person on email or on facebook disagreed with them.
People, a disagreement is NOT a lack of tolerance. If I say, "Here's my opinion," and someone says, "I disagree," that's life. That's the essence of freedom of speech. If the person goes on to say, "You stupid moron, you must agree with me," that's not freedom of speech. That's hurtful and rude. But if someone doesn't agree with your opinion, they are NOT being intolerant. They are simply exercising the right which so many people shrieked we must give Dan Cathey.
So why is that when a public figure makes a statement that could be controversial, we're not being tolerant if we disagree? However, if someone in our life says, "I think otherwise," we start facebook campaigns against this person and attack him/her? One of my friends said, "Let's return to civilized discourse," and I agree. But not just in the political/religious arena. PERIOD. If you have a deeply held belief, and someone disagrees, recognize that they are practicing their 1st Amendment rights, just as you are. Note: I'm talking about civil disagreement. Not rude, nasty, ugliness in disagreeing.
Does that mean there's no room for debate? Of course not! Civil response and debate are a cornerstone of our society. Does it mean there aren't times to campaign against someone's words? Of course not! Some things people say are just plain ignorant, unfair, rude, and may even infringe on the rights of others. Does it mean you can't complain to your friends or ask for support? Isn't that what friends are for? I'm just saying that you might want to consider what is truly worth your time. You may be surprised once you take a deep breath how trivial some matters become. And most importantly, you may want to ask yourself, "Is this person really deserving of my wrath, or should is this a situation in which freedom of speech dictates that I have to give him/her a say, even if I disagree?" Who knows - you may learn something in your search of the internet to prove him/her wrong! I know I have on many occasions!
So now my logical side has had it's say! My emotional side is snickering...and wondering how well I'll remember this when someone really pisses me off...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
St. Anthony's great, but my hubby's my hero!
So I went to Publix today after getting my hair cut. I'm on my own, feeling pretty good, enjoying the freedom of doing an errand without three girls in tow. I browse the sales, getting some good deals, and in general feeling pretty great. Then I get to the line...and realize I don't have my wallet. Sometimes I take my wallet out of my purse and stick it in my back pocket, then forget to remove it when I get home. So it's very likely my wallet is in a pair of shorts in my house. I have a credit card I keep separately for emergencies (or this occasion), so thankfully I don't have to put back all of my excellent deals.
I get home and start looking around the house for my wallet. My mom and eldest are helping me...I should say my mom is helping, and my eldest flits around the house, asking every 10 seconds, "Did you find it yet? Do you see how I'm helping you?" My mom, in an effort to give us the chance to search, tells C that if she REALLY wants to help she should pray to St. Anthony. The prayer goes like this, "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, Please come 'round. Something is lost that must be found." St. Anthony's usually pretty good about helping us around here.
10 minutes later I'm now frantically ripping things apart in an effort to find this wallet. This is my debit card, my license, my insurance card...basically my financial life. I'm no longer praying, I'm attempting to strong-arm St. Anthony. "Look buddy, you'd better come 'round, 'cause seriously, this isn't something to play with. This is my family's future, and one day we want to buy another house...Dude, get your butt over here..." I'm struggling to maintain a calm composure.
As near as I can remember, the last time I had my wallet was Monday night when we went to Walmart. So I decide I'm going to call and PRAY someone kind turned in my wallet. In the back of my mind this little voice is niggling at my brain, whispering, "Call your husband." Seriously? What's he going to know about where it is? It's my wallet - he has his own to keep track of! What am I thinking? So I dial Walmart.
"Hello?" A male voice answers.
I'm a bit thrown. No identification? "Thanks for calling Walmart" is too hard to say? Uhh..."Hi, I'd like to talk to someone about a lost wallet?"
...."I don't think I know anything about that." DOH! I called my DH.
"Sorry sweetie, I thought I called Walmart. Uh...I think I lost my wallet."
Now I witch about my DH at times - let's face it, those closest to us can totally drive us NUTS! But let me tell you, one of the reasons I love him is he can be so low-key and calm in very strenuous situations. So he says: "OK, well, where did you have it last?"
Now I'm getting very upset. "Uh...I think I paid at Walmart on-"
"No, I paid at Walmart. You took C to the bathroom, remember?"
The OH SH!T moment has arrived. Oh my...oh crap...the last time I had it was..."Oh no, I think the last time I used it was last Wednesday when I was out to dinner!" Now I cry. That's it...no more brave face. I've totally ruined our finances, our lives...I've got to call ALL of those companies...it will be weeks until we can use our cards again...
Meanwhile, my DH is calmly studying this situation. "You were alone on Sunday. Did you by chance eat out after your class?"
I teach an ESL class for adults on Sundays at my Church. "No, I came straight home because I wanted to---" LIGHT BULB!!!!!!! "OH MY GOD - YOU ARE A GENIUS!" I shout! Being Anal-Retentive (please note capitalization and hyphenation), I have a separate bag for each class or group I attend. I hate to carry the bag AND my purse, so I move my wallet to the bag. I yank my ESL bag out of my coat closet, strewing mittens, scarves, and bits all around my foyer. Front left pocket...empty. Front right pocket...there's a suspicious bulge..."YES!! I LOVE YOU!!!" Now I'm a crying, snotty mess. But I have my wallet!! WHOOHOO!!
A chuckle, and my DH says, "Well, that's why you call the helpdesk, right? For help."
OK, OK, and my thanks to St. Anthony, for trying to show me the way. And not snickering too loudly at me...
I get home and start looking around the house for my wallet. My mom and eldest are helping me...I should say my mom is helping, and my eldest flits around the house, asking every 10 seconds, "Did you find it yet? Do you see how I'm helping you?" My mom, in an effort to give us the chance to search, tells C that if she REALLY wants to help she should pray to St. Anthony. The prayer goes like this, "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, Please come 'round. Something is lost that must be found." St. Anthony's usually pretty good about helping us around here.
10 minutes later I'm now frantically ripping things apart in an effort to find this wallet. This is my debit card, my license, my insurance card...basically my financial life. I'm no longer praying, I'm attempting to strong-arm St. Anthony. "Look buddy, you'd better come 'round, 'cause seriously, this isn't something to play with. This is my family's future, and one day we want to buy another house...Dude, get your butt over here..." I'm struggling to maintain a calm composure.
As near as I can remember, the last time I had my wallet was Monday night when we went to Walmart. So I decide I'm going to call and PRAY someone kind turned in my wallet. In the back of my mind this little voice is niggling at my brain, whispering, "Call your husband." Seriously? What's he going to know about where it is? It's my wallet - he has his own to keep track of! What am I thinking? So I dial Walmart.
"Hello?" A male voice answers.
I'm a bit thrown. No identification? "Thanks for calling Walmart" is too hard to say? Uhh..."Hi, I'd like to talk to someone about a lost wallet?"
...."I don't think I know anything about that." DOH! I called my DH.
"Sorry sweetie, I thought I called Walmart. Uh...I think I lost my wallet."
Now I witch about my DH at times - let's face it, those closest to us can totally drive us NUTS! But let me tell you, one of the reasons I love him is he can be so low-key and calm in very strenuous situations. So he says: "OK, well, where did you have it last?"
Now I'm getting very upset. "Uh...I think I paid at Walmart on-"
"No, I paid at Walmart. You took C to the bathroom, remember?"
The OH SH!T moment has arrived. Oh my...oh crap...the last time I had it was..."Oh no, I think the last time I used it was last Wednesday when I was out to dinner!" Now I cry. That's it...no more brave face. I've totally ruined our finances, our lives...I've got to call ALL of those companies...it will be weeks until we can use our cards again...
Meanwhile, my DH is calmly studying this situation. "You were alone on Sunday. Did you by chance eat out after your class?"
I teach an ESL class for adults on Sundays at my Church. "No, I came straight home because I wanted to---" LIGHT BULB!!!!!!! "OH MY GOD - YOU ARE A GENIUS!" I shout! Being Anal-Retentive (please note capitalization and hyphenation), I have a separate bag for each class or group I attend. I hate to carry the bag AND my purse, so I move my wallet to the bag. I yank my ESL bag out of my coat closet, strewing mittens, scarves, and bits all around my foyer. Front left pocket...empty. Front right pocket...there's a suspicious bulge..."YES!! I LOVE YOU!!!" Now I'm a crying, snotty mess. But I have my wallet!! WHOOHOO!!
A chuckle, and my DH says, "Well, that's why you call the helpdesk, right? For help."
OK, OK, and my thanks to St. Anthony, for trying to show me the way. And not snickering too loudly at me...
Sunday, July 15, 2012
"Coti-yoti" and the Nose Trouble
Lately the girls and I have become big fans of the author Gerald McDermott. When I was a kid I was totally captivated by the drawings and colors of Arrow to the Sun. It starts out using desert tones, but as the story progresses suddenly bright vivid blues, pinks, greens, etc. enter into the picture. I really wanted my girls to have this book, so I special-ordered this Caldecott Medal winner from B&N. We truly enjoy it, but we've read it so many times I went looking for other options.
We have been going once a week to the Cumming Library this summer, and I'm not sure who finds it a bigger treat: me or the girls. Their eyes and jaws hit the floor the first time they saw the library and were told they could have any book on loan FOR FREE! I thought C was going to faint. She devours books like they were cakes....not cakes...I mean, you shouldn't get the idea - well...it's not that she eats so many...I...uh...moving on...
For the twins and I, our treasured discovery was the books of Gerald McDermott. We enjoyed Raven, but most recently we found Coyote, or as my girls call him, "Coti-yoti." "Coti-yoti" is the story of how the coyote got his coloration. You see, "Coti-yoti" has a nose for trouble...and he finds it. He attempts to join a band of crows in singing and dancing. The crows at first tease him, giving him feathers, but once he becomes rude and boastful...well...hey! What am I telling you for? Go read the book!
Another first for us this summer has been gymnastic classes. We had our first one last week on Tuesday. This was the twins first class in which they were required to follow directions and listen. They...uh...sucked at it. I mean, I'm sorry - they are my own flesh and blood, and I love them dearly, but trust me, it ain't roses that come out of that end. The teachers were WONDERFUL, but truly...my kids really screwed up their class. I apologized and was told it was no big deal, but I'm pretty sure that was the longest 30 minutes of their lives.
So I mention this because we are really focusing on taking turns, waiting in line, and sitting still to listen to instruction. And it's going about as well as you'd expect...clearly they take after their father or my brother...Tonight for the book we told them they had to sit still and listen quietly to the book. Twin B, surprisingly enough, did BEAUTIFULLY. She sat with her head cocked to the side, very attentive and with good posture. Twin A, on the other hand...I don't know WHERE that girl gets her stubbornness!! It's clearly not from me! I'm sure of it!! It can't be me. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm not listening. LALALALALALALALALALALALALA...
All through the book I'm trying very hard to get Twin A to listen quietly and sit still to no avail. In exasperation at the end of the book I look at her sternly and say severely, "Clearly YOU are 'Coti-yoti!' You have QUITE the nose for trouble." Then I turn to Twin B and say, "You sat very nicely through the book. Thank you."
Twin B beams with pleasure and says, "I did a GOOD job, Mommy." Then she stands, pointing at her sister. She mimics my look and tone and says, "But YOU, Twin A, YOU have nose trouble!! You need to wipe it!!"
"Coti-yoti" was not the only critter howling at that point!
We have been going once a week to the Cumming Library this summer, and I'm not sure who finds it a bigger treat: me or the girls. Their eyes and jaws hit the floor the first time they saw the library and were told they could have any book on loan FOR FREE! I thought C was going to faint. She devours books like they were cakes....not cakes...I mean, you shouldn't get the idea - well...it's not that she eats so many...I...uh...moving on...
For the twins and I, our treasured discovery was the books of Gerald McDermott. We enjoyed Raven, but most recently we found Coyote, or as my girls call him, "Coti-yoti." "Coti-yoti" is the story of how the coyote got his coloration. You see, "Coti-yoti" has a nose for trouble...and he finds it. He attempts to join a band of crows in singing and dancing. The crows at first tease him, giving him feathers, but once he becomes rude and boastful...well...hey! What am I telling you for? Go read the book!
Another first for us this summer has been gymnastic classes. We had our first one last week on Tuesday. This was the twins first class in which they were required to follow directions and listen. They...uh...sucked at it. I mean, I'm sorry - they are my own flesh and blood, and I love them dearly, but trust me, it ain't roses that come out of that end. The teachers were WONDERFUL, but truly...my kids really screwed up their class. I apologized and was told it was no big deal, but I'm pretty sure that was the longest 30 minutes of their lives.
So I mention this because we are really focusing on taking turns, waiting in line, and sitting still to listen to instruction. And it's going about as well as you'd expect...clearly they take after their father or my brother...Tonight for the book we told them they had to sit still and listen quietly to the book. Twin B, surprisingly enough, did BEAUTIFULLY. She sat with her head cocked to the side, very attentive and with good posture. Twin A, on the other hand...I don't know WHERE that girl gets her stubbornness!! It's clearly not from me! I'm sure of it!! It can't be me. Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm not listening. LALALALALALALALALALALALALA...
All through the book I'm trying very hard to get Twin A to listen quietly and sit still to no avail. In exasperation at the end of the book I look at her sternly and say severely, "Clearly YOU are 'Coti-yoti!' You have QUITE the nose for trouble." Then I turn to Twin B and say, "You sat very nicely through the book. Thank you."
Twin B beams with pleasure and says, "I did a GOOD job, Mommy." Then she stands, pointing at her sister. She mimics my look and tone and says, "But YOU, Twin A, YOU have nose trouble!! You need to wipe it!!"
"Coti-yoti" was not the only critter howling at that point!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Some day in the (not so far) future...
We are archaeologists, in search of the next great dig. In our travels we happened upon a small house located in Cumming were a family has rumored to live since 2003. In the midst of their daily lives they were suddenly engulfed in an avalanche of toys, books, baby clothes, and other such items due to an earthquake. A very intense, highly localized tremor, it exploded over their lives in July 2009. Those who speak of it will only whisper of the terror, "Twins...they have twins..." Supposedly the family may very well still be living in the location, but this rumor is unverified due to the high level of sediment and paraphernalia compacted around and through the home.
What follows is journal entries of our dig. Thus far we have been able to uncover and restore a garage to working order. Not only is there actual concrete flooring, we have discovered wall space and shelving. In fact, our careful reordering allowed us to determine that a vehicle of minivan proportions could actually fit in said garage, allowing the parents to put their children into the vehicle without incident in the event of precipitation or nosy neighbors intruding.
June 23, 2012: We have evidence which leads us to believe the materfamilias may be on her own today, the adult male having taken the children to an undisclosed location. Having found great success with the garage, we first chose to move on to the children's room. We found them to be surprisingly well maintained and spared the worst of the debris, although the room of the single child was covered in a layer of tissues...used tissues, unfortunately. Having decontaminated that room, we moved on to the bathroom shared by the children. After careful mopping of the floor and scraping of surfaces we were surprised to learn that green and dark brown were not their natural colors. Our successes encouraged us to move on to the laundry room. Again, we restored flooring to its natural color. Many interesting artifacts and hangers were recovered from behind the units that appear to be used to wash and dry...clothing, perhaps? Although the amount of glitter and rhinestones makes it hard to know exactly what is cleaned in this room. Perhaps the laundry fairy perished in here? No evidence of a grave...
June 24, 2012: Today we moved on to the kitchen area...the flooring appears quite similar to what was found in the laundry and bathroom. It at first had a darker patina, indicating it might be older than other surfaces of the house. Signs point to this being a room where the family would congregate for meal times, perhaps? It seems likely the family is not as germ conscience as some, although it is also possible in the struggle against the aftermath of the avalanche the materfamilias is no longer quite as particular as she was once rumored to be...Careful examination and archiving of the items on the shelving indicate...a food storage unit...a pantry? But yet, she has items that are food and cleaning related out in the garage...clearly having been nearly decimated by one natural disaster, she has determined not to face the same fate again. Perhaps she has morphed into some sort of sale-shopping, coupon clipping creature...
June 27, 2012: This is a most exciting day!! Yesterday's exploration of the back porch and family room proved uneventful. Today, however, we began searching for the long-lost master bedroom. It is said to be right around this side of the domicile. If we find it, it is possible we can learn more about this family! After gridding out the room for accuracy and ease of labeling we have begun sifting through the items. Carefully lifting clothes...gently removing toys...yes, this appears to be the post-multiples layer...By George! I think we've done it. Through perseverance and patience, it appears we've broken through to the pre-twins layer!!! Oh yes, what a discovery this is! Evidence of a single child still remains...Overwhelmed, overjoyed, and over-tired we pause to take a musical break before returning to our work.
What follows is journal entries of our dig. Thus far we have been able to uncover and restore a garage to working order. Not only is there actual concrete flooring, we have discovered wall space and shelving. In fact, our careful reordering allowed us to determine that a vehicle of minivan proportions could actually fit in said garage, allowing the parents to put their children into the vehicle without incident in the event of precipitation or nosy neighbors intruding.
June 23, 2012: We have evidence which leads us to believe the materfamilias may be on her own today, the adult male having taken the children to an undisclosed location. Having found great success with the garage, we first chose to move on to the children's room. We found them to be surprisingly well maintained and spared the worst of the debris, although the room of the single child was covered in a layer of tissues...used tissues, unfortunately. Having decontaminated that room, we moved on to the bathroom shared by the children. After careful mopping of the floor and scraping of surfaces we were surprised to learn that green and dark brown were not their natural colors. Our successes encouraged us to move on to the laundry room. Again, we restored flooring to its natural color. Many interesting artifacts and hangers were recovered from behind the units that appear to be used to wash and dry...clothing, perhaps? Although the amount of glitter and rhinestones makes it hard to know exactly what is cleaned in this room. Perhaps the laundry fairy perished in here? No evidence of a grave...
June 24, 2012: Today we moved on to the kitchen area...the flooring appears quite similar to what was found in the laundry and bathroom. It at first had a darker patina, indicating it might be older than other surfaces of the house. Signs point to this being a room where the family would congregate for meal times, perhaps? It seems likely the family is not as germ conscience as some, although it is also possible in the struggle against the aftermath of the avalanche the materfamilias is no longer quite as particular as she was once rumored to be...Careful examination and archiving of the items on the shelving indicate...a food storage unit...a pantry? But yet, she has items that are food and cleaning related out in the garage...clearly having been nearly decimated by one natural disaster, she has determined not to face the same fate again. Perhaps she has morphed into some sort of sale-shopping, coupon clipping creature...
June 27, 2012: This is a most exciting day!! Yesterday's exploration of the back porch and family room proved uneventful. Today, however, we began searching for the long-lost master bedroom. It is said to be right around this side of the domicile. If we find it, it is possible we can learn more about this family! After gridding out the room for accuracy and ease of labeling we have begun sifting through the items. Carefully lifting clothes...gently removing toys...yes, this appears to be the post-multiples layer...By George! I think we've done it. Through perseverance and patience, it appears we've broken through to the pre-twins layer!!! Oh yes, what a discovery this is! Evidence of a single child still remains...Overwhelmed, overjoyed, and over-tired we pause to take a musical break before returning to our work.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Bless your heart...
The South does have some defining characteristics, which includes a number of phrases. My favorite is "Bless your heart." Not "cotton-pickin' heart," just "heart." For any Northern-ahs who might be reading this, I'll explain. "Bless your heart" is the Southern way of indicating that someone is...ah...less that capable or...hmm...intelligent, shall we say? It's about the nicest way of making someone feel two inches tall in a situation if used correctly and with the right Southern-belle accent.
It's Father's Day, we've finished breakfast, and it's time to shop for my DH's Father's day gift. We regret to announce the demise of our Foreman grill after almost 10 years of faithful service. Funeral services and announcements to follow. So hey, let's go to Walmart to see if we can get another one! It's Sunday. It's Father's Day. Oh sure, how could this be a bad idea? In we go. We get two baskets because the while the good people of Walmart may sell multiple items, they are unaware that people might HAVE multiple children! We check the Foreman grill section, but alas...the one we want is ONLY sold online. Of course, this is Walmart, and who can't use four or five...or nine...items from Walmart, even if they don't carry the actual item you needed in the first place. I love when they ask, "Did you find everything alright?" Seriously? They should ask, "Did you find the one thing that brought you in in the first place, or is this just all consolation shopping?"
I go to get in line, and, of course, there are four registers open with lines at least six people deep. The girls are having fits because they want to run and play, so my DH and I agree that he'll take the girls out to the van and I'll buy the items. Ah yes...parenting...when standing in a ridiculously long line at Walmart all by yourself becomes a mini-vacation...
As I'm standing in line I become aware of a younger couple behind me arguing in hissed tones. She's blond with short hair, trendy clothes, and flip flops. He's blond with a polo, golfing shorts, and boating shoes. He's pushing the stroller with the blond 18 month old boy who frankly couldn't care less. She's got the cart groaning with items. He stomps off and she stands there, debating her next move. Clearly she's not pleased with this turn of events, especially because we all DARE to be in long lines that prevent her from being where ever she's supposed to be right now! I hate to see people argue on holidays, but that's how life goes. Not to mention there are some REALLY good headlines on the tabloids...really? An alien? Married for how long?...
She gets in line behind me, and a moment later, taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, and she gives me her brightest smile. It must be a very bright smile - it requires her sunglasses stay on her face to protect her vision from the glare. "Hi," she says, "I was wondering if I could go ahead of you? It's Father's Day, and my husband is really upset that we're ruining his plans. It would mean so much to us if you'd just let me jump in front of you there."
Glancing over her incredibly full buggy...and my paltry nine items, I reply, "I understand how frustrating these lines can be! My husband took our three children out to the car to jump-start the getting out process. To be very honest, given that I have so few items and you have so many, I'm going to have to say no. But I'll be very quick - this cashier is moving very well."
In shock, she stares at me, raising her sunglasses to look me fully in the eye. Then the super-sunny smile (which causes another lowering of the sunglasses), "I know it's asking a lot, but like I said, it's Father's Day, and I just hate to cause him any stress on his special day. Father's really deserve special consideration on a day like today..."
OK, I'm sorry, let's try this again, lady. "Yes, they do. I'm so blessed to have such a special man in my life who is a wonderful father to our THREE children. I'm sorry, but I'm just going to have to say no."
Stumped at my willful determination NOT to recognize the very special situation that she, alone, is in, she raises her sunglasses to give me a wilting stare. Unfortunately, she's got a LOT of work to do on that stare...especially when employing it on a former high school teacher turned stay-at-home-mom. Never been a victim of my stare? Don't look too closely at the blog...I'm demonstrating it now. Uh-huh...see? Powerful. I return to my perusal of the tabloids...Nostradamus contacted HIM? Oh, there was a miscalculation...they really meant the world would end in 2022...unless they messed up again...
Fortunately, she's resourceful. Turning to the gentleman in the line next to us, she lowers her sunglasses, bathes him in the radiance of that self-proclaimed brilliant smile, and says, "Excuse me, sir, but I'm not sure if you heard my predicament." Of course he did! Aren't you E.F. Hutton's daughter? "It's Father's Day, and my husband just really wants to get on to his celebration. Do you think I could hop in front of you there in line and speed up checking out?"
The guy looks at her, shrugs, and says, "What? You think HE'S the only father stuck in Walmart on Father's Day? It's life. At least it ain't the E.R." Second degree burns! My wife smiled at me for too long and I couldn't find the sunblock!!
Astonished at our total inability to comprehend the magnitude of her situation, the lady pulls off her sunglasses and cries, "What the hell? Where's this Southern Hospitality I've heard so much about?!?"
Smiling, I turn back to her and exclaim, "Bless your heart! Haven't you heard? You're in the New South!"
It's Father's Day, we've finished breakfast, and it's time to shop for my DH's Father's day gift. We regret to announce the demise of our Foreman grill after almost 10 years of faithful service. Funeral services and announcements to follow. So hey, let's go to Walmart to see if we can get another one! It's Sunday. It's Father's Day. Oh sure, how could this be a bad idea? In we go. We get two baskets because the while the good people of Walmart may sell multiple items, they are unaware that people might HAVE multiple children! We check the Foreman grill section, but alas...the one we want is ONLY sold online. Of course, this is Walmart, and who can't use four or five...or nine...items from Walmart, even if they don't carry the actual item you needed in the first place. I love when they ask, "Did you find everything alright?" Seriously? They should ask, "Did you find the one thing that brought you in in the first place, or is this just all consolation shopping?"
I go to get in line, and, of course, there are four registers open with lines at least six people deep. The girls are having fits because they want to run and play, so my DH and I agree that he'll take the girls out to the van and I'll buy the items. Ah yes...parenting...when standing in a ridiculously long line at Walmart all by yourself becomes a mini-vacation...
As I'm standing in line I become aware of a younger couple behind me arguing in hissed tones. She's blond with short hair, trendy clothes, and flip flops. He's blond with a polo, golfing shorts, and boating shoes. He's pushing the stroller with the blond 18 month old boy who frankly couldn't care less. She's got the cart groaning with items. He stomps off and she stands there, debating her next move. Clearly she's not pleased with this turn of events, especially because we all DARE to be in long lines that prevent her from being where ever she's supposed to be right now! I hate to see people argue on holidays, but that's how life goes. Not to mention there are some REALLY good headlines on the tabloids...really? An alien? Married for how long?...
She gets in line behind me, and a moment later, taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, and she gives me her brightest smile. It must be a very bright smile - it requires her sunglasses stay on her face to protect her vision from the glare. "Hi," she says, "I was wondering if I could go ahead of you? It's Father's Day, and my husband is really upset that we're ruining his plans. It would mean so much to us if you'd just let me jump in front of you there."
Glancing over her incredibly full buggy...and my paltry nine items, I reply, "I understand how frustrating these lines can be! My husband took our three children out to the car to jump-start the getting out process. To be very honest, given that I have so few items and you have so many, I'm going to have to say no. But I'll be very quick - this cashier is moving very well."
In shock, she stares at me, raising her sunglasses to look me fully in the eye. Then the super-sunny smile (which causes another lowering of the sunglasses), "I know it's asking a lot, but like I said, it's Father's Day, and I just hate to cause him any stress on his special day. Father's really deserve special consideration on a day like today..."
OK, I'm sorry, let's try this again, lady. "Yes, they do. I'm so blessed to have such a special man in my life who is a wonderful father to our THREE children. I'm sorry, but I'm just going to have to say no."
Stumped at my willful determination NOT to recognize the very special situation that she, alone, is in, she raises her sunglasses to give me a wilting stare. Unfortunately, she's got a LOT of work to do on that stare...especially when employing it on a former high school teacher turned stay-at-home-mom. Never been a victim of my stare? Don't look too closely at the blog...I'm demonstrating it now. Uh-huh...see? Powerful. I return to my perusal of the tabloids...Nostradamus contacted HIM? Oh, there was a miscalculation...they really meant the world would end in 2022...unless they messed up again...
Fortunately, she's resourceful. Turning to the gentleman in the line next to us, she lowers her sunglasses, bathes him in the radiance of that self-proclaimed brilliant smile, and says, "Excuse me, sir, but I'm not sure if you heard my predicament." Of course he did! Aren't you E.F. Hutton's daughter? "It's Father's Day, and my husband just really wants to get on to his celebration. Do you think I could hop in front of you there in line and speed up checking out?"
The guy looks at her, shrugs, and says, "What? You think HE'S the only father stuck in Walmart on Father's Day? It's life. At least it ain't the E.R." Second degree burns! My wife smiled at me for too long and I couldn't find the sunblock!!
Astonished at our total inability to comprehend the magnitude of her situation, the lady pulls off her sunglasses and cries, "What the hell? Where's this Southern Hospitality I've heard so much about?!?"
Smiling, I turn back to her and exclaim, "Bless your heart! Haven't you heard? You're in the New South!"
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